Today is my mother’s birthday. It’s the fourth year in a row that I haven’t mailed her a birthday card, sent her roses, called her on the telephone or wondered how she was spending her day. It’s been four years since she passed away.
Significant days like birthdays and holidays are often very sad after you lose a loved one. The most difficult days for me to get through after my mother’s death was Mother’s Day. All that changed today. This became one of the saddest days for me since she died.
My husband and I took our usual place in the church pew this morning. I casually reminded him that today was Mama’s birthday.
The church service progressed following the usual order. There was a special time of remembrance, in honor of All Saint’s Day, for all our church family who has passed away in the last year. My mother never lived here and wasn’t part of our church family so her name wasn’t mentioned. The recognition of deceased members on my mother’s birthday grabbed my heart. It was almost as if someone felt they needed to remind me that my mother is no longer among the living.
While the irony tugged at my heart, I kept my emotions intact.
However, I lost complete control of myself, my emotions and everything else when the congregation sang “Be Still My Soul”. There was a particular passage that was responsible for cranking up my tear machine to full tilt:
Be still, my soul: when dearest friends depart,
And all is darkened in the vale of tears,
Then shalt thou better know His love, His heart,
Who comes to soothe thy sorrow and thy fears.
Be still, my soul: thy Jesus can repay
From His own fullness all He takes away.
I slipped out of the pew into the restroom just before the ugly crying started. As I stood looking into the mirror at my red swollen eyes, I reflected back on the words of the song that were the catalyst for the meltdown. What was it about those particular words at that particular moment that made me so sad about losing my mother? The answer that I came up with is that I don’t know the answer. Maybe I’m not supposed to know. Maybe we need to feel sad from time to time to help us get stronger. Maybe the sadness for lost loved ones encourages us to drawn near the ones that are still here on this earth. Whatever the reason, I hope I am doing the right thing and learning the right lesson.
Returning to the pew, I was met by the welcomed loving feel of my husband’s arm across my shoulders. There’s no greater way to say “I love you” than being a support to someone who’s sad or going through difficult times. Maybe that was the lesson that was intended for me to learn today. Despite losing people who I love and miss dearly, I’m reminded that I’m blessed to have my soul mate here with me. And he loves me. Not a single word had to come out of his mouth for me to know that. He said all he needed to say with the arm that was around my shoulders.
Sometimes leaving the sanctuary, missing part of the service and ruining your makeup ends with a sweet tender moment.
Y’all come see us!
French Onion Soup
yield: 4 to 6 servings
After the emotions of the day, a bowl of soul-warming soup seemed to be in order. I had caramelized onions in my refrigerator patiently waiting. Today was the perfect day for them to wind up in the soup pot.
After the onions are caramelized, the rest of this dish comes together in a snap. Caramelizing onions using my slow-cooker recipe is remarkably easy, it just takes time.
Depending on the amount of time you have, you can either continue cooking the soup in the slow-cooker once the onions are done, or you can finish it up on the stove. Either method works well. The soup will be ladled into individual crocks, covered with cheese and broiled until the cheese is melted.
For the cheese topping, you need a good stringy cheese that will stick to your chin as you eat your soup. That’s part of the French Onion Soup eating experience. If you don’t like Asiago or Gruyere, use your favorite flavorful hard cheese.
1 1/2 pints caramelized onions
3 cups beef stock (If you don’t have homemade, use a good quality commercial product)
1 teaspoon soy sauce
1 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce
French bread or baguettes, sliced in rounds (one slice per bowl)
olive oil
Asiago or Gruyere cheese, grated
Place onions, beef stock, soy sauce and Worcestershire sauce in a slow-cooker and set on high for two hours or low three too four hours.
Drizzle bread rounds with olive oil. Toast on both sides.
Drop one toasted bread round in each serving bowl. Ladle soup over bread. Top with grated cheese. Broil until cheese is melted and starts to brown.
Serve immediately.
Be Still My Soul (Recipe: French Onion Soup)
Ingredients
- 1 1/2 pints caramelized onions
- 3 cups beef stock If you don’t have homemade, use a good quality commercial product
- 1 teaspoon soy sauce
- 1 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce
- French bread or baguettes sliced in rounds (one slice per bowl)
- olive oil
- Asiago or Gruyere cheese grated
Instructions
- Place onions, beef stock, soy sauce and Worcestershire sauce in slow cooker on high for two hours or low for four hours.
- Drizzle bread rounds with olive oil. Toast on both sides.
- Drop one toasted bread round in each serving bowl. Ladle soup over bread. Top with grated cheese. Broil until cheese is melted and starts to brown.
- Serve immediately.
Sue, a Florida Farm Girl says
OH, I’m so sorry about the meltdown today, but sometimes they just overtake you. Nothing to do but sob, sniffle, suck it up and then move on. Thankfully, with DH’s hug.
I’m making pumpkin lentil soup for dinner tonight. Seems to be the day for it. I may just have to try your caramelized onion method and try some onion soup myself. Hugs to you girl.
Happy Birthday, Mama.
Jackie Garvin says
That’s all we can do, Sue!
You’re soup sounds fittin’ to eat!
Mary | Deep South Dish says
Oh my gosh Jackie, now you’re making me want some!!! We actually have some cool weather right now & this upcoming week. It’s been downright chilly… FINALLY!!!
Chris says
You brought tears to my eyes, too. I just spent the day with my own sweet 87-year-old mom, first at church and then dinner at my house with my son-in-law, daughter and husband. My own sweet husband made sure the three inches of snow we got last night was shovelled carefully off the deck so she could make it with her walker. She’s a little slower each time she comes, but still makes it with only a little help. My first grandchild and her first great-grandchild will be born in the spring, and she is looking forward to that. I still blubber each time we sing “Borning Cry” at church, which they played at my dad’s funeral 10 years ago. Hugs to you, Jackie, and I wish we lived closer so I could snatch a bowl of that yummy looking soup. I vote for the Gruyere cheese. Expensive, but worth every single bite.
Chris
Jackie Garvin says
Chris,
You and I were mean to be next door neighbors. We have bad geography karma! 🙂
What blessings you have in your life. Your mother is nearby, a grandchild on the way, loving husband and children. Enjoy your life, Chris. You are deserving of the best.
Dave at eRecipeCards says
Jackie, I feel like I am intruding, First time visit but I wanted to let you know how touched I was by your story… I saw the post on Pinterest and had been planning a FOSoup cook session soon, so wanted to take a look. Will be giving this a try soon.
My mother-in-law has had two surgeries and a stroke this year with another surgery scheduled. Very soon I am afraid I need to be the hand that reaches out and just wanted to say thanks for the nudge to remember to continue to be there.
Soup is called comfort food for a reason. Hope the soup, service, your husband and taking a moment to share helped
Dave
Jackie Garvin says
Dave,
You are a man of true character. You’re wife is so blessed to have such a caring soulmate. Get those arms ready, Dave. They will provide much comfort to her
May God bless you and your family.
Mary | Deep South Dish says
I was gonna email this part privately to you Jackie, but then I thought now that looks odd that I didn’t comment publicly except about the soup. Anyway… I know how heartbreaking these moments are. Just last night I was in the garage looking for halloween stuff and ran across the box that Mama had saved of all the cards & things that we kids had made for her from the time we were little. Looking at those silly childish cards I’d written when I was just a small child made me literally laugh out loud, but then I got so sad and cried so hard!! My Mama passed in 1997 and it’s still no easier today. Christmas is really hard because she died a few days before Christmas in that year. Her gift to me was my first KitchenAid stand mixer. She was already gone of course when I opened it but for years I couldn’t use it without shedding tears. Okay… gotta go grab some tissues now. BIG HUGS Jackie….
Jackie Garvin says
Mary,
Please don’t ever let anything happen to that mixer! Thanks so much for sharing your story with all of us. 🙂
Valerie Gardner says
Beautiful story, Jackie. I can’t say I relate because I’m blessed to still have both of my parents with me. They will each turn 80 years old next year…so I know my time with them is limited, if the course of nature follows true. And what is it about being in church and singing those hymns…that makes our emotions so close to the surface? I know you are thankful to have had a wonderful mother…but that doesn’t make her absence any easier for you, I’m sure. In fact, it probably makes it harder. When you feel up to it, listen to this rendition of Be Still My Soul by Libera…a boys chorus. It’s beautiful. <3
Jackie Garvin says
Val,
There’s no sadness like grief sadness. It’s necessary to go through it, but man, oh man….it hurts.
You give Mama and Daddy a kiss and a hug for me and tell them they raised a mighty fine daughter. 🙂
Valerie Gardner says
Oops….here’s the link for the song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rS9ZyNnSOMU
Jackie Garvin says
Val,
You’re such a sweetheart. This is a beautiful rendition. I found one on YouTube by The Mormon Tabernacle Choir that’s beautiful, too.
Thanks, Val.
beverley6761 says
Jackie, thank you for sharing your story with us and I am happy that you have your best friend to help you get through the difficult times.
I absolutely love French Onion soup too.
Love Beverley xoxo
Jackie Garvin says
Beverley,
I’m truly blessed. 🙂
Mary says
I’m sorry about your mother. My own mother passed when I was 24. Those first few years were pretty rough. A smell, a song, a place. Lots of things remind us of our mothers. She’ll be there to meet you on the other side. I just know it.
Jackie Garvin says
Mary,
I’ll meet my mother, along with other loved ones, once again. i just know it, too! 🙂
Maureen | Orgasmic Chef says
I feel the same way about my mother’s birthday. We had a very rocky relationship but I still miss her. Her birthday is in 2 days. I love, love, love onion soup and this sounds like a really easy way to make it.
Jackie Garvin says
Maureen,
It’s so easy, so good and satisfying. I hope you try it. 🙂
Pauline says
Your post especially caught my eye this morning. I lost my husband this past June in an accident, he has been my soul mate since I was just 15 years old; we’d been married for 35 years, and it’s true that the two of you really do become one, and now half of me is gone. We just got through both of our boys’ birthdays this month, and now we face the holidays. I am trying so hard to hold on to the time that I have with the loved ones that I still have. I’m so glad you still have the loving support of that arm around you in church.It’s one of the things that I miss so very much. Treasure it.
I’m sorry for the loss of your mother. I think that would be one of the hardest losses to get through. I still have mine, and I am thankful for that. I pray your heart will heal more and more as time goes on.
Oh, and French Onion soup was one of my late husbands favorites, so thanks for sharing. It’s a sweet memory of him for me.
Jackie Garvin says
Dear sweet Pauline,
My heart aches for you. I know exactly what you mean by “now half of me is gone”. God bless you as you continue on.
Jean says
Wish I could be there to give you a big hug.
Jackie Garvin says
Jean,
I feel your hug, Sistah! 🙂
Louise says
Soup and onions sound delicious. It was my mother’s birthday yesterday also. She’s been gone longer though. I know just how you feel. I love the scripture that says Thou shalt live together in love, insomuch that thou shalt weep for the loss of them that die, and more especially for those that have not hope of a glorious resurrection.
Jackie Garvin says
Louise,
That’s a beautiful passage!
Ann says
Hi Jackie – missed hearing from you – glad it was just “writer’s block” and nothing more serious – love this carmelized onion idea in the crock pot – this sounds yummy!!
Jackie Garvin says
Hi Ann! It was really something to go through. I didn’t like one bit. Not one little bit. 🙂
Lendy Tate says
I read your comment this morning and I immediately felt I knew where you are coming from. My mom passed away 9 years ago and I still catch myself wishing I could call her and see how she’s fairing in Canada, and tell her I miss her.
It’s going to get easier, very slowly, but I still have periods of tears, but they are healing tears. :0) May The Lord minister to you as you work through this. Lendy
Jackie Garvin says
Lendy,
Thank you so much for your comments. God bless you.
Karen says
Thank you for sharing. I have found, after losing my mother some years ago and then losing my husband quite unexpectedly in July 2011, that sadness will overtake me from time to time but that I am strong I am surviving. Sometimes I feel like I’m in a dream that I can’t wake up from, but logic tells me that this is no dream so then I pick myself up and remind myself of how blessed I was to have the love of my husband for 21 years and how blessed I am to have family and friends to lean on. It’s a process that I’m still working on figuring out . . . .take care, and that soup looks like it could warm anyone’s heart and soul.
Jackie Garvin says
Karen,
Bless your sweet heart. Yes, it is hard but we have to keep moving on. Thank you for sharing your story.
Tom Miller says
Well a big Southern Hug Jackie..I feel your heart on your mom’s passing been down that road so it is with a heavy heart I mention the following oversight. You know I didn’t want to really say anything but I felt as a fellow Southern Traditionalist and Southerner it is within my obligation and rights to mention this oversight on the following. After reviewing your recipes I found it was offensive as I think there was a slight mistake possible made on your behalf in some of them including your caramelized onions recipe. Seems you failed to mention any bacon drippings or bacon in your recipes lately? Whats up with that? In fact I feel it is within my Southern native obligation to notify you of this severe violation and consider yourself being placed on notice. I wanted to be fair and forgive you of this violation and all of us out there wanted to let you know we still love you despite this (ghastly) error and figured it was probably a oversight maybe you were distracted or for heaven forbid you (gasp) ran out of bacon dripping (noooo) as us true Southerners refer to this as “Bacon Butter” or short “BB”. Please take note that you are slipping and please don’t let this be a regular habit otherwise we may be forced to revoke your Southern-ship. Hope all is well at home and thanks again for being so understanding..lol
Jackie Garvin says
Tom,
You are a mess! Thanks for a good laugh! 🙂
Dyan Taylor says
Jackie,
I recieved something in an email this past week that I want to share with you! I knew there would be a special “someone” that I would need to send this site to, and I think it is you!! A blogging friend named Mitchell Webster in Virgina sent this to me. He was raised in the Mennonite community but doesn’t live with them any longer. He is a chair Caner, basket weaver. He is a precious person. He sant me this site called Mountain Anthems , and I am so in love with this mostly accapella singing of the old hymns. As a former Alabama Girl, I thought you might like this today. I know it meant a lot to me when I got it, and I plan on saving this site forever!!!! God bless and know that you are loved. Dyan Taylor
Dyan Taylor says
Mountain Anthems
Jackie, I hope you enjoy all these songs as much as we do. 🙂 Dyan T
Ruth Gant says
Peace be with you while remembering and honoring your Mother.
Jackie Garvin says
Thank you, Ruth!