Today is my mother’s birthday. It’s the fourth year in a row that I haven’t mailed her a birthday card, sent her roses, called her on the telephone or wondered how she was spending her day. It’s been four years since she passed away.
Significant days like birthdays and holidays are often very sad after you lose a loved one. The most difficult days for me to get through after my mother’s death was Mother’s Day. All that changed today. This became one of the saddest days for me since she died.
My husband and I took our usual place in the church pew this morning. I casually reminded him that today was Mama’s birthday.
The church service progressed following the usual order. There was a special time of remembrance, in honor of All Saint’s Day, for all our church family who has passed away in the last year. My mother never lived here and wasn’t part of our church family so her name wasn’t mentioned. The recognition of deceased members on my mother’s birthday grabbed my heart. It was almost as if someone felt they needed to remind me that my mother is no longer among the living.
While the irony tugged at my heart, I kept my emotions intact.
However, I lost complete control of myself, my emotions and everything else when the congregation sang “Be Still My Soul”. There was a particular passage that was responsible for cranking up my tear machine to full tilt:
Be still, my soul: when dearest friends depart,
And all is darkened in the vale of tears,
Then shalt thou better know His love, His heart,
Who comes to soothe thy sorrow and thy fears.
Be still, my soul: thy Jesus can repay
From His own fullness all He takes away.
I slipped out of the pew into the restroom just before the ugly crying started. As I stood looking into the mirror at my red swollen eyes, I reflected back on the words of the song that were the catalyst for the meltdown. What was it about those particular words at that particular moment that made me so sad about losing my mother? The answer that I came up with is that I don’t know the answer. Maybe I’m not supposed to know. Maybe we need to feel sad from time to time to help us get stronger. Maybe the sadness for lost loved ones encourages us to drawn near the ones that are still here on this earth. Whatever the reason, I hope I am doing the right thing and learning the right lesson.
Returning to the pew, I was met by the welcomed loving feel of my husband’s arm across my shoulders. There’s no greater way to say “I love you” than being a support to someone who’s sad or going through difficult times. Maybe that was the lesson that was intended for me to learn today. Despite losing people who I love and miss dearly, I’m reminded that I’m blessed to have my soul mate here with me. And he loves me. Not a single word had to come out of his mouth for me to know that. He said all he needed to say with the arm that was around my shoulders.
Sometimes leaving the sanctuary, missing part of the service and ruining your makeup ends with a sweet tender moment.
Y’all come see us!
French Onion Soup
yield: 4 to 6 servings
After the emotions of the day, a bowl of soul-warming soup seemed to be in order. I had caramelized onions in my refrigerator patiently waiting. Today was the perfect day for them to wind up in the soup pot.
After the onions are caramelized, the rest of this dish comes together in a snap. Caramelizing onions using my slow-cooker recipe is remarkably easy, it just takes time.
Depending on the amount of time you have, you can either continue cooking the soup in the slow-cooker once the onions are done, or you can finish it up on the stove. Either method works well. The soup will be ladled into individual crocks, covered with cheese and broiled until the cheese is melted.
For the cheese topping, you need a good stringy cheese that will stick to your chin as you eat your soup. That’s part of the French Onion Soup eating experience. If you don’t like Asiago or Gruyere, use your favorite flavorful hard cheese.
1 1/2 pints caramelized onions
3 cups beef stock (If you don’t have homemade, use a good quality commercial product)
1 teaspoon soy sauce
1 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce
French bread or baguettes, sliced in rounds (one slice per bowl)
olive oil
Asiago or Gruyere cheese, grated
Place onions, beef stock, soy sauce and Worcestershire sauce in a slow-cooker and set on high for two hours or low three too four hours.
Drizzle bread rounds with olive oil. Toast on both sides.
Drop one toasted bread round in each serving bowl. Ladle soup over bread. Top with grated cheese. Broil until cheese is melted and starts to brown.
Serve immediately.
Be Still My Soul (Recipe: French Onion Soup)
Ingredients
- 1 1/2 pints caramelized onions
- 3 cups beef stock If you don’t have homemade, use a good quality commercial product
- 1 teaspoon soy sauce
- 1 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce
- French bread or baguettes sliced in rounds (one slice per bowl)
- olive oil
- Asiago or Gruyere cheese grated
Instructions
- Place onions, beef stock, soy sauce and Worcestershire sauce in slow cooker on high for two hours or low for four hours.
- Drizzle bread rounds with olive oil. Toast on both sides.
- Drop one toasted bread round in each serving bowl. Ladle soup over bread. Top with grated cheese. Broil until cheese is melted and starts to brown.
- Serve immediately.
Liz M says
I came here from Pinterest and have just chopped 3lb of onions to make caramelised onions – my tears are for a very different reason to yours!
I bought Gruyere cheese for the first time this weekend, so I guess French Onion soup is the order of the day!
(((Hugs))) for your Mum’s Birthday and for a husband who knows how to love you.
Jackie Garvin says
Thanks, Liz! I hope you enjoy your soup. 🙂
Jackie @Syrup and Biscuits says
Here’s a YouTube video of the song:
http://m.youtube.com/#/watch?v=eQ2b8oqmfgw&desktop_uri=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DeQ2b8oqmfgw
Jackie Garvin says
I read every word of every comment. They mean so much to me. Thank y’all for taking the time to share a piece of your heart.
Kim Holloway says
Hi Jackie, I just found your blog today through Southern Food Bloggers and boy am I glad I did. My mom’s birthday was Sunday, as well. I lost her 5 years ago and not a day goes by that I don’t think of something I want to call and tell her. Thanks so much for sharing this lovely tribute to your mom. And for the recipe!
Jackie Garvin says
Howdy, Kim! 🙂
I’m so glad you found us. Welcome to Syrup and Biscuits.
You only have one Mama. That lose is a void that isn’t fillable. God bless you as you continue on.
Kathy Clark says
I know what you mean. I lost my mother this February 22, 2012. I just flipped the calendar over and saw where this coming Saturday, Nov. 3 would have been her birthday. Alzeheimer’s took her away many years ago but my comfort comes from knowing that I was there. She loved flowers so I tried to keep fresh arrangements in her room. I always looked forward to when my own roses and gardenia’s bloomed to carry her arm loads. You could smell them in her room before you even got there. Every time other residents would crowd around to see and smell so I tried to carry extra. Just one little flower or one little sniff made their faces light up.
Jackie Garvin says
Kathy,
What a sweet, thoughtful daughter you are. God bless you.
Cass @foodmyfriend says
I’m so sorry about your Mum. It doesn’t seem like it gets any easier when a loved one, especially a Mother passes away. Your soup looks delicious!
Jackie Garvin says
Cass,
It’s a loss that’s certainly hard to overcome.
Thanks for stopping by!
Carole's Chatter says
Hi there. The current Food on Friday is all about onions! So it would be great if you linked this in. This is the link . Wishing you very happy Holidays!
LoAnn says
It has been 30+ years since my mom has passed, yet there are moments that catch me off guard and bring tears to my eyes. I have since gotten over missing her on Mother’s day, and Christmas most years, but there is so many things I do for my own children that I learned from her, and they do appreciate when I make the extra effort to make a day special for them and someone that is special to them. They see grandma in the little things although, some of my children never got to meet her. Bless you and know it gets better but the loneliness for mom never goes away. My own mother-in-law told me that when my mom passed, and now as I get older I know what she meant. She was well into her 70’s and still would miss her mom at times. Mom’s have a special place in our hearts that never fills when they pass on.
Jackie Garvin says
You are so right, LoAnn. You only have one Mama and nothing can replace her.