By and large, Southerners are congenial, gracious, warm and friendly. We are ready to help out family, friends and neighbors when a hand is needed. We will bring you chicken and rice when you’re sick. Show up at our doorstep hungry and you will be fed. Need to borrow a vacuum cleaner or a cup of sugar? Don’t worry, you can borrow both at the same time if you need them. Can’t get your brother-in-law’s car out of the ditch by yourself? Here we are to help! But there is one little tiny issue that makes us forget our manners and causes us to beg our Mamas and Grandmamas for sweet forgiveness. It happens when people try to fancy up tomato sandwiches (translated: damater samiches). Now, we put up with things like grapes being added to our traditional cornbread dressing and we will let you in our house if you are bringing a sweet potato casserole that has roasted bananas mixed in. But we will get up slap-dab in yo’ face if you start talking about a tomato sandwich on ciabatta bread with pesto.
I broke out in a cold sweat just typing that.
Well, I have appointed myself the resident Southerner who will document for all the world to see, the correct way to make a tomato sandwich. Please feel free to refer back to this manual as often as you feel you need to. I’m working on installing a help line.
Y’all come see us.
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Tomato Sandwich
Assemble your ingredients: tomatoes (duh), mayonnaise (real), soft white bread, salt and pepper. Stop there!! That is all you need.
The knife and cutting board are tools. You have some leeway there. Choose the ones you like to use.
Next, slice the tomatoes. I like them sliced a little on the thin side rather than thick because that will give you more surface area to season with salt and pepper which helps to bring out the flavor. You have leeway here,too, and can decide how thick you want your tomato slices. Who said we were inflexible?
Now, pay attention because this part gets a little tricky. Spread mayonnaise all over the bread. Cover the bread up with the mayonnaise. Make sure the mayonnaise is spread evenly on the bread. Top and bottom slices of bread must be completely covered with mayonnaise. This step is muy importante (translation: very important) for two reasons: (1) You need the flavor that only full fat real mayonnaise can deliver and (B) tomatoes are juicy. Juice makes soft white bread soggy. The mayonnaise will protect your bread from the juice and hold it up in the tomatoes where it’s supposed to be. Any questions? If not, we are moving on. Now, place your tomato slices on one side of your bread. Use your imagination and get crazy with your tomato designs. When you are satisfied with your tomato placement, generously sprinkle salt and ground black pepper over your tomato slices. Stop. Sneeze. Then, add some salt and pepper to the side of the bread that only has the mayonnaise on it.
Now it’s time to use your knife skills once again. Cut each sandwich. If you are making one tomato sandwich you will wind up with two pieces. If you are making two tomato sandwiches, you will wind up with four pieces. I made two sandwiches so I now have four pieces. See below for details.
Give the sandwiches to who ever your favorite person at the moment happens to be. Don’t forget about yourself. If you like yourself better than anyone else in the world at that moment in time, eat the sandwiches yourself. Don’t worry about anyone else. I am giving these sandwiches to my husband, Sam. I’ve noticed that some other food bloggers don’t refer to their spouses by their names. They refer to them by names like MM and The Cajun. My husband’s name is Sam. I will refer to him as Sam. The picture below captures the moment of truth.
Did I get it right?
SUCCESS!!!!!!!
Amy Wren says
Hahahahahahaha! I laughed all the way through that!
Jackie Garvin says
I even laughed myself!
Lori says
Bravo!
Jackie Garvin says
Lori,
Glad you enjoyed it. Thanks!
Karen Pearce says
Oh my gosh, I love it!
Jackie Garvin says
Thanks, Karen!
Gail Davis says
You go girl! I’m with you!!
Jackie Garvin says
Gail,
Don’t go messin’ around with damater samiches.
Danny Taylor says
You nailed this right on the head…and the more acidic the damater is the better the samiche is as far as I’m concerned. I do one step more in the process in that I always peel my damaters first…but that is me. Other wise…awesome meal you put together here.
Jackie Garvin says
Danny,
Nothing beats a good tomato sandwich. We look forward to that as much as we do peas.
Danny Taylor says
Well, the damater samiches are awesome but I would have to hold on to the peas for a little more thought about that 8^)
Jackie Garvin says
Danny,
I hear ya’! Now, eating a tomato sandwich along with a bowl of peas. Lawd, chile. It ought to be against the law!
Danny Taylor says
I’ll take some take some onions with them peas and damater samcihes please!
Jackie Garvin says
Danny,
Comin’ right up!
Hillary says
AMEN, Sista! I am the holy grail against white bread, with one exception….. damater samiches! Although, I have to admit I have gotten a little fancy with freshly grinding the black pepper.
I can’t even count how many samiches I eat during our summer beach vacation to Garden City, SC. Johnny’s grandparents bring a bushel of damaters every year, and my mouth waters the entire way there thinking about them.
Jackie Garvin says
Hillary,
Using fresh ground black pepper is within the rules of “Damater Samich Making”. You’re legal!
Diane says
Oh my, I laughed and cryed all the way to the end! So refreshingly Southern!!
I saw your piece over on the Gooseberry Patch blog and had to come read for myself. I was born, raised and still live in Florida, but both my parents were North Carolinians and we were raised Southern. But I hear ya! You’ve got go deep to find the South in Florida!
As for damata samiches we never put pepper on them per my dad’s preference. Then my Canadian born & raised husband informed me pepper was a must! So I can’t wait to show him your trick of salt & pepper on the other slice of bread! Really enjoyed it! I’ll be back!!
Jackie Garvin says
Diane,
Welcome to Syrup and Biscuits! Thank you so much for letting me know you enjoy the post. Try the salt and pepper trick! You get a much more even distribution of the seasoning. Don’t you just love those tomato sandwiches? We look forward to them every year. I’ve already got tomatoes growing in my garden. Won’t be long now! <3
Marivel says
you missed a step.. lol.. just noticing how “detailed” these instructions are and you missed putting the top and bottom pieces together =)
Jackie Garvin says
You are right, Marivel! I hope folks can figure that part out on their own. The picture of my husband eating the sandwich does show the two pieces of bread together. Thank for being a reader. I hope you visit often.
Aunt Betty says
Having grown up in Texas eating tomato sandwiches most of my life, especially in the summer when the garden bounty is plentiful, my family did do one kind of weird thing about ‘special’ tomato sandwiches. Learned at the hand of my paternal grandmother, believe me, it sounds weird but is the most awesome thing with summer tomatoes — Peanut Butter, lettuce, tomato and mayonnaise sandwiches. Yup. Peanut butter. I especially like using the extra crunchy kind of peanut butter. Generously slather mayo on one side of your sandwich; lay on your ‘maters, salt & pepper with lettuce over that. Spread on the creamy, chunky goodness of that extra crunchy peanut butter on the other side, slap it together and dig in. So good your tongue will slap yo face and ask for seconds.
Jackie Garvin says
Aunt Betty,
I love peanut butter and I love tomatoes but I’ve never thought of putting the two together. I eat peanut butter and banana sandwiches and peanut butter and pineapple sandwiches. I’m feel compelled to try your combination. When you put two good things together, the result just has to be double good. Thank you for reading and commenting!
Janie says
Take it from an okie from Muskogee, there’s nothin like a( fried potato,sliced onion,and plenty of ripe tomatoes) on white bread sandwich!!
Jackie Garvin says
Janie,
Gosh, that sounds good. It’s a whole meal between two pieces of bread! Thanks for stopping by. Please visit again! 🙂
Kristina says
I’m all the way out here in California and even I know YOU DON’T MESS WITH A TOMATO SANDWICH. PERIOD. White soft bread. Best Foods Mayo (our version of Hellman’s), Salt, and Pepper. THAT’S IT. Don’t mess it up with any basil, or, God Forbid, Miracle Whip Salad Dressing. I’ll throw you out of my darn house. Or Yours. Now, my family did originate from Virginia, so perhaps we have Southern roots in us when we make tomato sandwiches!
Jackie Garvin says
Krisina,
Your Southern roots have certainly taken over your tomato sandwich making mentality! No doubt about that. Thanks so much for stopping by and sharing your wonderful comments. Please visit again! 🙂
marywestover92 says
How very true. I now live in Arizona and these folk turn up there noises at this.
Jackie Garvin says
Mary,
They’re missing something mighty good!